Giving up 😞😒

I miscarried back in January with my fourth child. We have been trying since then. This weekend I have decided that I’m done trying. I received my cycle earlier than expected (6days early). I am unsure if I’m still having issues from the miscarriage or what.

I’m so tired and I just want to get back to my life. Every time I start my cycle it reminds me of my miscarriage. I have 3 boys and wasn’t expecting anymore until I became pregnant again. Now I’m disappointed in myself because I’m I want to believe that God chose to get me pregnant with an IUD for a reason but at the same time He took that from me....I know this post is all over the place but this is how I feel at this time. I just want better for me and my family. 😭😩