Been a very hard time, been ttc for awhile now and my little sister beat me to it. Was hard but I was doing my best to be happy for her. And a month after she found out she was pregnant I got the news that I finally did it too. We would be only a month apart. Was so exciting thinking as sisters we could do it together, we are 14 years apart in age. But a month later I miscarried. Was so very hard for me. I wanted a baby so much and tried so hard, just to lose it. And she accidentally does it. So it put a strain on our relationship, at least on my side. I tried not let it show. But the thought of a baby shower and and things that I would have normally jumped at the chance to be apart of and help with and support her with were now so painful and I was dreading them. I didn’t participate and I was at her shower for literally 5 min. I was a crying mess all day. I did pour my heart into crocheting 3 beautiful baby blankets for her. But it was all I could do. I felt ashamed that I was feeling so angry, so jealous. It was just making me fall apart. It’s been hard on my relationship with my SO. Then I got the news she was going to the hospital to be induced on Friday, I couldn’t bring myself to go. Well she finally had the baby early this morning. I got the picture of this beautiful baby that I was dreading so much and I melted. I sucked it up and went to the hospital today and i couldn’t put that beautiful baby down. It still hurts but it’s not my fault or theirs. I still have the tough time of getting past the day I was due June But I survived her pregnancy and this beautiful baby boy coming into this world. And I just pray and hope I heal and my day will be soon. And to all you wonderful women ttc I wish you and me all the baby dust in the world. In the mean time here is my beautiful nephew Dayton!