This is my second son with my husband but third son for me.

Last pregnancy my husband lost interest in me as a romantic partner and started drinking and doing drugs. He got suspended from his job unless he got help. He did get help he went to rehab while I was in my third trimester for 42 days. Things got a lot better and our relationship was closer but not intimate. After our son was born things were good for a long time. We got married and then he started going A-Wall a lot. He’d go out overnight without picking up his phone. He’d come slinking home the next day apologetic and full of remorse. Swearing he was with his guy friends. This is a struggle we’ve dealt with for years. There were some good times mixed in there but this behaviour from him became somewhat normal. When we got pregnant again I was scared and he was the one who said everything would be ok. That this pregnancy would be different.

Buuuut..... here we are again. He’s dove right down the same rabbit hole.

We’ve not kissed, cuddled or had sex since October 2017. He doesn’t support me emotionally or even provide a friendship. He doesn’t ask how I’m feeling or if I need anything. He doesn’t help around the house. He’s drinking everyday, we just bought a new house and he’s even slept in the garage a few nights. When I try to talk to him he will walk away or just ignore me and look at his phone or take phone calls. As I’m writing this I can’t even believe I’ve stayed this long. His behaviour has taken all the joy out of the pregnancy again. I came home tonight and calmly stated I was ready to let go of our marriage finally. He didn’t dispute it. He handed me my suitcase and left with his drinking buddies.

I’m in a hotel with my toddler (my oldest is with his dad this week). I live in Canada and I’m blessed to get a maternity leave but how can I afford a lawyer on maternity? Should I not be entitled to the family home until it sells or we settle? He always told me he’s not leaving his home and he won’t help me pay for it if he’s not living there. I know I can go to court but I’m having our second son in a few weeks and I can’t afford a hotel every night. I don’t want to live in a hotel or bring my newborn to a hotel. I can’t live in a home with someone who has me so upset I’m in tears every night. I can’t have the kids witness our arguing or me bawling as he’s running out the door.

I’m so lost and alone. My family doesn’t live here. I can’t relocate due to sharing custody of my oldest. I’m so stuck. I feel so stupid for letting this happen.

**update**Well he left the house quite willingly today. I have now been enlightened why by one of his best friends. He’s been seeing a woman he met while working out of town for a few months. I’ve been able to confirm it all with cell phone records etc...

He’s taken her out camping and while I’ve been crying all day he’s been out on a romantic date. One he used to take me on often.

I’m so broken right now. I knew we had problems but I never thought he would cheat let alone have a full on relationship with another woman.

I’m riding out the biggest roller coaster of emotion. Thankful to have taken out the trash, furious that my partner could be so selfish then absolutely devastated.