Not happy in marriage. Help?

Question

I'm 21 and I've been married for about a year now. We got married very fast. We're very religious so it's just kind of what people do in our religion. I got pregnant a month after we got married and now we have a perfect 3 month old. In the beginning of our marriage we struggled a lot. My husband wasn't the nicest since we barely knew each other and had some anger issues. I cried a lot. 
I moved to the state he grew up in where all his family is. They are from a different culture than me and speak a different language. They're English isn't great and I can't speak to some of his relatives due to the language barrier. So all in all. It was a culture shock for me and very very difficult. We fought a lot. He always thought I should toughen up and be like the women in his culture which apparently are tougher than white people. My pregnancy was pretty hard. My husband didn't really give me any special attention and I did all the household chores and every load of laundry up until I gave birth. My point of all this is that this is was NOT what I pictured being married and pregnant would be like. Maybe I was just naive and this is what is it supposed to be like. But I've held grudges against my husband for things he's done and said and I'm trying my best to forget the past. But now he's gotten our little family into a little bit of debt and now my in laws are basically paying for everything. I'm not comfortable with this but I just found out about my husbands spendings and I have no choice. I don't like kissing him really either. I just don't feel happy with my significant other.. I LOVE my baby and the life I have but I'm not in love with my husband and I'm not sure if I ever was. Divorce in my religion is very frowned upon and I love my son so much I don't know if I can do that to him. I can't stop thinking about the life I'd have if we were to get divorced. If I'd find a person who respected me more. I don't know. Is this what marriage is supposed to be like and I just need to deal with it? 
Also, he does tell me to shut up when he's mad but he is not abusive. He's never hit me or came close and he doesn't bully me at home so I wouldn't say he's very emotionally abusive. It's been maybe borderline. But not abusive 
Any advice helps

Answer

Take your child pack a few things jump on a bus and go home. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

Answer

That's so sad to think that religion keeps people from spending their whole life unhappy.  I'm not bashing religion, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling like this? you'll be a better mom if you're not miserable. Is he open to counseling at all? It might be your only chance to have a happy marriage.

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To answer your question directly...NO that’s not what’s marriage is supposed to be like.

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That is not what marriage is supposed to be like.

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why did you marry someone you hardly know? what religion? if don't mind me asking. As far as the money situation maybe you should get a job. Even if it's frowned upon in your religion doesn't mean you should remain unhappy, and it may be what is best for your son to have 2 parents that are both happy and healthy not together then together and miserable.

Answer

Have you considered couples counseling? I’m also in a religion where people get married fast and young and where divorce is very discouraged so I have friends with stories similar to yours (just minus the child). I understand the situation but you should not feel like you have to spend the rest of your life unhappy just because you didn’t realize who you married. 
Tell him things aren’t working and if he’s not willing to try to improve your relationship and go to counseling with you, then you have no choice but to seek divorce because you deserve the chance to find someone who will actually be in a loving partnership with you. I’m all for trying to fix it but if it doesn’t work, then divorce is there for a reason. Hopefully in your religion it’s similarly viewed as something that should be a last resort rather than a first resort. (Unless of course it’s an abusive relationship, then get out of there fast)!

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I’m just curious, what is your religion?

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Honestly as a women we deserve full respect and love especially while being pregnant. Carrying his child is already hard enough on your body. But if you can’t seem to find happiness within your marriage, you should leave. Your baby shouldn’t have to see you unhappy to try and fix something that cannot be fixed. And if the physical part of relationship isn’t there, then move on. Your young and deserve to live a long and happy life with whoever loves you the way you should be loved and cared for. Your family shouldn’t judge you for being unhappy and living the way you do. Trust yourself . Most importantly be strong 💕

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I understand it's against your religion but how would you think someone else in your religion would feel if they were really unhappy in their marriage divorce is actually a very common thing and I think it's great for women like you that are unhappy in their marriage. being with someone that almost seems like they don't care about your well-being can really hurt you so I think that if divorce is really something you want to go through then totally do it do not let your son be in a house that is not good for him to grow up in.

Not happy in marriage. Help?

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