My baby is still in the NICU. She’s a preemie with IUGR born at 35 weighing 3lbs 14 oz

The NICU is very very very adamant that she be breastfed.

I started out with a strong supply but had a blood pressure episode that led to me being readmitted to the hospital and a course of Lasix (a diuretic)

Since then my supply has been... awful.

Every nurse who has my daughter asks if I’d like to try breastfeeding or if I have pumped lately. I tell them “no I don’t breastfeed” or “I already pumped.” They get the lactation consultant to try to lecture me about herbs, and frequent pumping. I already pump every 3 hours, I tried the tea, eating oatmeal EVERY MORNING and lactation cookies. It just doesn’t work

They’re now weening my 2 week old daughter from donor breast milk to formula. The way they talk negatively about it makes me feel like I’ve failed. I have cried in the parent lounge, I don’t know how many times. I always planned on breastfeeding, and it breaks my heart that i can’t feed my baby.

I failed her 🙃