Lost our rainbow yesterday


We really thought this time would be different. I started spotting at work in the morning, so I left to my doctor's office. The doctor said my urine was clear, uterus size was appropriate, and cervix was closed...all good news. Then she got the Doppler and couldn't find baby's heartbeat so she tried an ultrasound. There we saw an 8+4 week gestation fetus with no heartbeat. My baby had died the day after my last appointment when I got to see and hear its heartbeat and movement at 8+3. I should've been 11+2 yesterday. We are absolutely devastated. Beyond devastated. We elected to do genetic testing this time hoping to find an answer, but at the same time hoping nothing is wrong. We spent the entire day at the hospital, registering and preparing for my second D&C; in 11 months. Exactly 11 months, in fact. Most of the nurses remembered me which made me even more sad because they all just looked at me with such sympathetic eyes that all I could do was cry and look at the wall. Doctor said everything went "well" with the surgery and I went home no longer pregnant a couple hours later.

My husband is an over the road truck driver and by the time all of this had happened it was too late for him to call-in to work...so here I lay, in my bed, bleeding and crying alone.

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to tell my story. We were so looking forward to Thanksgivng with a new baby this year, especially since we were supposed to have a new baby right around Christmas last year.