I don't know what started it and I don't know how to stop it. I started gaining weight over the past year, and it's happening more quickly now. I've racked up about 35 pounds. I feel disgusting. I don't go to things because I can't find clothes in my closet that fit. Every time I buy new jeans I fucking grow out of them before I wear them twice.

I didn't recognize it until lately but I have had body image issues my entire life. Even when I could wear a size 0 I thought I was chubby and that every girl was so much prettier and skinnier than me. Gaining weight over the years made me realize how body dysmorphic I was and can be. It's terrifying. I have never been happy with my body and it's devastating to me. It weighs on me like a fucking ton of bricks. I'm always thinking about how fat I look.

I know I'm not the only person that does/did this but I need help. I can not take it anymore. I guess I just want to know how anyone else has gotten themselves out of a completely negative state of mind. How can I kickstart my motivation to really start making changes for myself and my body? Please don't leave hate in the comments, it's not necessary