And this is the only place I can say that and not feel like an awful person. I want to scream everytime I see happy people and their happy children while I am denied that happiness. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it either for fear of upsetting them. Trying to get it all out before I go see my own mom and try and forget how much it hurts not being a mom myself. Today sucks and I'm on a diet trying to help my fertility so I can't drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine or a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream. I just want to get back in bed but happy face on, it's time to face the day.