7 months of TTC and my period is due today. I got brown and pink spotting now... and I am almost positive that it’ll turn red tomorrow. Cuz fml... I just want to give up on this. But god I want a child so badly. I want to raise a kid... I want to be responsible for a life and raise them into this world. I want to love them and care for them. I want to give them the best possible life I can give them... and I know I’m ready for it... I’ve proven it countless times as I nanny 2yr old twins... But noooo... my body just says screw you, let’s not have a baby this month. 🙃 I’m sad cuz every month I buy tests hoping it’ll be positive. I’m sad cuz every month I hope and I pray that this will be the month. But it never does. It never is... sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve this.. it sucks... 2 chemicals and 7 months of trying and just no luck... I envy everyone who gets pregnant by accident or everyone who only tried once and got pregnant. I envy the current mothers on Mother’s Day... because I just want to be a mother myself.. my husband is tired of getting negatives after negatives and spending so much money on tests just to see one line instead of two.. he wonders if it’s him that’s causing it and blames himself sometimes.. I use to cry every time I got a negative but now... now I just take a test knowing it’ll be negative... I just don’t get it. I really don’t. I track my ovulation and we have sex every single day during the fertile window. But some how I can’t get pregnant? I mean you’d think that with all that sperm from sex every day, at least one would reach the egg right?? But nooo... its just not happening..