Here it goes. The big reveal...

last December I was raped. And the boyfriend I was with at the time was there for me. Granted he had cheated on me by this time a total of 3 times.... but other incidents had occurred that made me stay...

but after the party.. (where it happened) he didn’t leave my side for a second. He stayed with me while I cried myself to sleep. Every nightmare, every panic attack. All of it. And so when I found out the day after my birthday that he was still cheating, I stayed. Because I didn’t think anyone else could protect me. The police sure enough didn’t care. So who else would? So I stayed. Then he started abusing me. Started off with name calling, put me downs during fight. Belittling my emotions. Then physical. And I stayed and I realize because I tried quote I never understood until now “we accept the love we think we deserve” I was already cracked from the first time, and he broke me in half. And then the last night before it could get worse I ran. He didn’t come after me, he told me that he felt nothing for me. That all the I love you’s all the kissing was fake. And I thought, how could someone truly be that evil? How? And here it is a month after I left the university I was in (I ran out of it also) and it’s his birthday. And I see he is happy... and all I can ask is why? Why does he get to be happy? How does it in this life get to be happy? And I don’t know the answer. Why does someone so evil get to be happy, when they did this to me?