so up until the end of April i have been the type of girl who feels ashamed to masturbate that i would do it and then feel disgusted with myself afterwards well recently i met this guy who by all means is not what i expected myself to end up with but he makes me happy and he seems sweet, well anyways he took me on a "date" we were supposed to go to the movie theaters and then out for pizza but we ended up just going to his house where we spent like 4 maybe 5 hours in his room making out and teasing each other then "date #2" was basically the same only i gave him head like i said im the type of girl who feels like masturbating is disgusting and here i am giving this guy head like omg what has gotten in to me then "date #3" was like date #1 &2. only this time he gave me head and fingers ..everytime i go over there he ask me what im thinking and im like how do i tell him i am thinking things are going fast when at the same time im wanting things to go faster ...he likes to be dominating i like it as well like when he chokes me or when he pushes me down its kinda a turn on for me ..but idk i just feel like maybe he pushed his agenda on me and he is making it seem like its my choice like last night he was clearly trying for butt sex even after i said no but he just bent me over and started stimulating my asshole with his fingers and dick and of course my body betrayed me and got turned on. but i stopped him. before penetration happened ima a virgin and he knows that he says he wont penetrate without my permission ......ugh idk what to do