My husband has always openly voice his disgust of fat people. As someone who has always struggled with weight I tried to open his mind but he wouldn’t budge.

After having our third baby in three years I am weighing in at 230lbs at 5’5” at 3 months postpartum, I got pregnant with baby number one at 155lbs.

I am breastfeeding and find it impossible to lose weight (keep loosing my milk).

Recently when we bicker he takes jabs at my weight.

“Your too fat to go out to eat.”

“I am surprised you haven’t eaten yourself to death.”

“Okay, fat ass.”

Then later tells me I am not fat, I am beautiful and he loves me.

I am already hating my weight problem but his words on top of it make it worse. He said he only says those things to hurt me when we are fight so we will stop fighting.

I hate myself. Every time I look in the mirror I want to vomit. I can’t look in the mirror while I am naked. I am grotesque. I eat my feels and it shows.

End sad rant.