I'm just not sure what to do with myself over this. I feel hurt, but I know he's not trying to hurt me and he was honest immediately when I asked him about it.

Background story: he came home from work with some flowers for me because it was my birthday recently. During dinner, I could tell something was off, but I could also tell he didn't really want to talk about it so I asked if he was going to be okay and left it at that. He said something happened on his way home from work but I shouldn't be worried. A few hours later, it dawned on me, and I asked if he had run into his ex. He said yes, almost relieved that he didn't have to say it, and he said it just put him in a very introspective mood. My husband is a deep thinker and I can tell when he's thinking versus when he's troubled, so I talked to him for a few minutes about it. I did ask if part of him still loved her. . .and he said yes. I know, asking that was dumb of me if I knew I was going to be hurt by it, but even though it hurts I'm glad he was honest so I no longer have to wonder.

I know it caught him of guard, he probably didn't want to be rude to her, and I know he loves me and kept the interaction respectful. I'm just sad because I want to be his world and for him to be so happy with us that he doesn't think back to those "what ifs." Is that immature for me to desire? I feel naive and that I'll just have to get used to disappointment and battling feeling inadequate for the rest of my life.