It’s 8:07 am.

It’s still dark outside and raining.

The balloons my husband blew up with helium for her party today, are playing limbo with the kitchen tile.

But I still feel happy.

Not because her birthday decorations are modest. Or because my kitchen is under construction but we are having a party anyway. Or because my husband is fighting a cold. Or because my mother in law bullied her way into forcing us to have the party today when my husband is still sick.

I’m happy because we made it. We made it to one year. And what an absolutely chaotic, tumultuous, beautiful, terrifying, loving year it was.

My daughter Cecelia came into this world one year ago today. I still can’t believe it. She’s made me a better person. I have a capacity for such deep love that I never knew existed.

And today we celebrate the first of many birthdays for my first born daughter. My future. My legacy.

I love you Cecelia. Thank you for picking me to be your mama.