How do you put emotions aside in the interest of friendship?

Question

My friend invited me to her baby's christening but I don't know how to tell her I can't come.I helped her husband to do the baby shower but, the last time they had a christening at my church I cried throughout the whole christening.She is my good friend and she wants me to be the God mother .This is so hard sometimes. You have to put on a smile everyday but die inside..

Answer

That’s tough!  My sister and I were both pregnant—due 3 weeks apart.  I lost our little girl at 19 weeks and she asked me to be the godmother.  It’s so hard bc other ppl don’t get the struggle—-the pain, suffering, and heartbreak.  I honestly think you need to talk to her about your feelings.  You will be that baby’s godmother for life, but this struggle might not last forever.  Don’t let this stop you from being an important person in your friends child’s life.  But talk about it... help her understand.  You don’t have to be alone.

Answer

This is a very hard situation. I have been there with one of my closest friends from high school. She has been struggling with PCOS and she and her husband have had a difficult journey. I have been as supportive as i know how. Listening, holding her hand, crying with her, offering her to be her surrogate if i do not have issues with fertility. (My husband was not happy about that) even wrote her letters of recommendation when she decided adoption was the right choice for her now. 
She was upset when i told her we were going to start trying to have children and even told me up front she would not be going to any baby showers because it would hurt her to much. 
I was devastated as i felt i have been supportive in every way i know how and she was unable to reciprocate. 
This friendship will probably never be the same. I love her but support has to go both ways and it hurts to be on both sides of the fertility issue   Mind you we are crawling into the 10 month mark for TTC without success and she has never reached out to check. 
The mist important thing is to try to be supportive of each others journey and not let our personal hurts affect how we care about those we love. 
Be honest and show your friend the support you would like to have.

Answer

Honest, I would probably just fake being sick 🤷🏻‍♀️

How do you put emotions aside in the interest of friendship?

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