Feel like giving up 🙁

Been trying to conceive for 17 months. Had a miscarriage last July. Since then practically nothing but my cycle going out of wack for a few months. I’ve even been losing weight and trying to be healthier. But it got to the point where my SO ended up cheating on me because I wasn’t able to get pregnant and talked to this woman for a week or so. She ended up getting a hold of me. Well him and I have worked things out for the most part. But I just feel even worse now every time I get AF and I feel like he’s just gonna leave one day because of it. I feel even worse because our best friends just had their baby and I wanna feel happy for them but I just feel so resentful they weren’t even trying. And I just cry almost every time I see a baby. Is there any advice any of you could give me to maybe just feel a little better.