Need help

FTM. I am actually very much ashamed to post this but I have really lost all my self confidence with BF . Hence need help.

I have always wanted to Breastfeed my baby as soon as I got pregnant. My Baby Boy is 1 month old now thanks be to God. But since Day 1 was formula fed along with EBM due to No/ Low supply . Late supply kick in.

I was told to latch him on during every feed to increase my supply & also pump later .

I have been doing that ever since. The issue is when baby is hungry , and I latch him on , he gets irritated because there is less milk only and cries more n more that it becomes extreme hunger & I have to bottle feed him. To avoid this last minute latch & then drama and then formula feed, I started to try patching him before he is too hungry but he simply refuses to open his mouth .

But at times when he gets cranky , I put him on the (.) and he dozesoff after a few min (sometimes an hour ). Pacifier ?

Also I am only able to pump 30ml(1oz) in 1 day totally . How to improve ? I am hyperthyroidic & anaemic. Does it affect supply? I have tried eating (Infact still eating) oats, fenugreek, flaxseed etc etc everythingn in the books but this has been my output .

I have also got the latch checked by a lactation consultant and it's fine.

Because he is formula fed, I am being told that he is colicky & has intense crying episodes which brings my energy & confidence of taking care of a newborn to a new low. Also lots of gas / flatulence .

What am I doing wrongly? someone close to me says that if I really care for my baby my body should make milk - that hurts every minute .

Am I such a bad Mother ?