I’ve never posted on here before but I feel like maybe someone has some words to help me into the direction of healing, here goes. 😔

December 25, 2017 I found out I was pregnant I was extremely excited words couldn’t even describe how I was feeling! I was going to be a mom again (I have a son who’s 6) my son was going to be a big brother it was finally happening! I thought for a long time I couldn’t get pregnant again because my fiancé & I tried almost everything so this was a big deal for us.

7 weeks 3 days everything is great heartbeat is strong cervix is closed everything seems to be moving along nicely. Friday, February 2, 2018 9 weeks 5 days I start spotting while I’m at work I wait & after work we rush to the ER just for them to tell me my cervix is still closed it’s probably old blood everything is fine so I go home thinking just that. Saturday evening comes around & out of no where no warning or anything I start cramping it’s so bad I’m balled up in bed as soon as I get the strength to get up to go to the ER blood & baby gush out it was very traumatic! But how can this be? They just told me everything was good how could this be happening to me? Less than 24 hrs ago I was told my baby was growing strong now this.

I turned to everybody for support & nobody seemed to have it everybody pretty much told me “what’s done is done let it go” the hurt that I feel from that runs deep. Even my fiancé can’t seem to see how hurt I am & how it still bothers me my heart is broken & every time I close my eyes I still see images of my little bean amongst all the blood. I feel so lost & confused I just wanna forget it all happened. 😢