I never thought I would write something like this, especially being six months pregnant, but I am.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly eight months but we've been friends for two years and known each other for over a decade. He lives in the US and I live in the UK. We decided that we wanted to get married so we could apply spousal visas and we also decided that we wanted to have a baby together. Second time "trying" we conceived.

We've both spent time in each others' countries, with me staying in the US over Xmas for a month, and him staying most recently in the UK for two and a half months. My boyfriend has always maintained that he wants to move to the UK, one of the many reasons being that I'm here and healthcare coverage. I can't move to the US as he doesn't earn enough to support me but I do in the UK.

Anyway, towards the end of his last visit (I had to work in Berlin for a week) he started saying that he wanted me to move quicker on my divorce from my ex-husband. For context, the paperwork has been done but I can't afford the court fees at the moment. He then said he wanted us to get married sooner than we had then planned (again context, he proposed to me on Mother's Day so I said we'd do the marriage thing properly). I said that I couldn't go any faster with the divorce and that I wanted to travel back to the US at Xmas so his mum could meet her grandson. Ever since this discussion, things have changed between us.

Since he's back in the US, he's decided to take a vow of silence, which was a massive sore point for me because I felt I needed him to be speaking to get things moving. We compromised that he would message me and we'd speak on the phone, so his vow of silence wouldn't affect me.

But then there are days when he hardly messages or doesn't call and when I confront about it, he makes out that I'm overracting. This has happened a couple of times now.

Last night, I had reached my breaking point and I asked him whether he wants to come back to the UK, to which he said "I don't know..." He said that his mum is ill with an undiagnosed condition and he doesn't know if he wants to "risk" being with me in the UK and miss out on the time he has with her if we don't work. At the moment, it's not even clear whether he intends to be here for the birth of his son.

I've told him that I want us to work and that we need to put the work in and the effort in so things don't deteriorate further, but I'm not sure what to even think now. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely crap and I'm about to go on a babymoon with my family.

Any advice on how I approach this would be really helpful. I don't know if I should let his mum know what's going on, whether I should confide in my parents... I feel really lost.