I’m just feeling so empty lately. I feel like I’m not good enough. My first bf broke up with me, which was a huge shock, and I just feel numb. I thought everything was fine with us...he was like Boaz... I even still hope and pray that he’s the man God chose for me- how sad is that?- but he ended it..... and that coupled with my depression and anxiety I’ve fought since I became a Christian.... it’s almost too much..... We didn’t do anything we weren’t supposed to, but I don’t feel good enough to attend women’s events at church. Because they always talk about the “godly” women in attendance, and I feel somehow that I’m not a godly woman anymore because I was so happy with him. I didn’t talk to my friends as much-partly because our small group split up as we went different directions in life- so I don’t feel like I deserve to try and reconnect with them. And I don’t even know if I want to get married or have a family anymore. Something that God prophesied-through my best friend a week after meeting- WOULD happen. The thought of going through all that again with potentially the same outcome is depressing and tiring.

Idk what to do. In my brain I know this is all coming from the devil. But I’m too tired and sad to really want to do anything about it. And I don’t feel like God would even want to hear it from me. I feel like I failed Him... I feel like I’m not even worthy to be called His daughter... like I screwed up too much and I’m being too dramatic about something so insignificant and I’ve strayed too many times and God is tired of me.