So I met this guy around November and we are really good friends. We will call him J for now. Some of my other friends are close with him too but they tell me that they are not as close with him as I am. I have a history of being friends with guys, no strings attached. Some of them have had tiny crushes on me, but usually i would not share mutual romantic feelings.

A few of my friends found him really cute and liked him for a while. I didn’t really notice at first. They would say things like “Oh, he’s really cute” or mention how he can sing and play guitar or how he’s really smart. One of my friends was really infatuated with him and continues to tell me how she has no intent on dating him.

Around the New Year, I started dating one of his friends, but he lasted a month. He was not ready for a relationship but we ended off on good terms.

In February is when everything started. We were both invited to a “surprise” birthday party for my friend who was infatuated with him. She was planning to make a move on him (Yea, she found out she was having a birthday party and she found out he was invited, my friends are not the best when it comes to planning). The whole party, him and I talked.

That night, when everyone was leaving, they told me I was cock blocking and I felt so clueless. Then they told me that J said he would have kissed me, but then there was his friend. For a couple of days, my friend was dry to me. Eventually I confronted her asking if it has anything to do with J. And then I said I had no intention of taking J from her, I would never take anything, or in this case anyone from her. Afterward she told me she was infatuated with him and knew she wouldnt date him anyway. But i still felt not so much as reassured. It seems already complex to even consider dating J because we dont have just one, but two people in our way.

We kind of separated for a few weeks and then I shooted my shot and tried asking him out during march break. He had plans with his family. I guess I wanted to just identify my feelings at the time which is what I am still aiming to do, which is another obstacle as to why I shouldnt date him.

We ended up seeing each other at an event his school hosted. I havent seen one of my friends in so long and it was good to catch up. At one point, I also saw my ex and he sat down at a time when i was in the middle of him and J. Yea, awkward. What didn’t help was the fact that my friend who didn’t know about the party peeped in the comment “Wow you should cuff him”. Yea, awkward.

Fast forward to now. We would text more often and we facetime and I am getting butterflies but at the same time, I have this mindset that we can’t date because although he seems like a sweet guy and I have a long history of guys I dated who were shitty people, he sounds too good to be true and I havent gotten to know him that well.

I talked to a mutual friend. He was the one who introduced me to him in the first place, conincidentally also sharing the same name as him. We’ll refer to him as J2. Occasionally he would make remarks like “you and J would be cute js.” eventually I got tired of it and straight up asked him “does he like me.”

Apparently he said “he would be down to date me” and that at first my ex seemed like a problem but i mean there’s no beef between us. But then when J2 asked me how I felt, I told him “yea he’s sweet i’m ngl but we have conflicting schedules too and I just dont know him that well, i mean he turned down the time I asked him out” Which is all true. He has school, leadership, soccer and life guarding. I have school, leadership, work and band. I am told that for those who wait, idk something will flourish into something probably good or however that saying goes. I am a patient person but I am just scared that it won’t turn out good and we will compromise our friendship over something that will not last. Plus, I’m lowkey a mess and I don’t want him to get sucked into that. Simple as that.

To sum it all up, I like him, he likes me but then there’s:

1. the bro code (on both ends)

2. conflicting schedules

3. i just dont know him that well and it may be too good to be true

Whenever im out with him, everyone is like “ yo he likes you”, but whenever i message him, HE IS SOO DRY. and besides that, i have asked him out so many times and he either is not gettin the hint or intentionally giving me mixed signals. like he says he is busy, and i get that BUT AT LEAST TEXT ME A DAY YOURE FREE SO WE CAN HANG OUT AND I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL. but no, he never gives me the time of day. and its like do you like me or are you just here for play?