😓😓 Having To Be Strong

NiKi

So I Guess You Could Say I Was In A Abusive Relationship ?

I Used To Think Maybe I Deserved The Name Calling And The Aggressiveness Towards What I Do Or Say ..

This Morning , I Woke Up Sore And It Still Hurts To Move . I’m 11 weeks & 2 Days Pregnant Today & The “Man” Of My Child Left Me With Bruises All On My Arms & With Cramps As Of Last Night .

This Man Literally Told Me To My Face That I’m A Worthless Daughter To My Father , That I’m Going To Be A Worthless Mother To His Child , And That I’m Nothing But A Whore And A Slut . As He Says This , He Proceeds To Hold Me Down On The Bed As He Sits On My Stomach , Where HIS Child Is , Spits In My Face & Told Me That He Hopes The Baby Dies .. He Said He Wants The Baby To Die & That The Whole Pregnancy Is Probably A Lie Or The Baby Isn’t His .

Keep In Mind That This Is The ONLY Man I Have Been With For Over 6 Months , And All This Started Because He Was Drunk (The Usual) & I Asked Him If I Could Go To My Friends House ..

I Get Accused Of Cheating When All I Wanted To Go Do Was Hang Out With Some Of My Girlfriends , Which He Thought Was Guys , But Smashed My Phone (Which He Never Paid For , Even Though The Phone In His Hand , I Paid For That Whole $75 Screen On His iPhone 5s) & Wouldn’t Let Me Explain Anything .. After He Smashed That Phone , He Then Smashed Another Phone That He Didn’t Pay For & Then My Computer , Which He Also Never Paid For .

I’ve Never Felt Like I Had To Be Scared To Tell My Bf , My S.O , That I Wanted To Go Hangout With Friends & Expect Any Of This To Happen ..

He Demanded Me To Leave , With No Phone , No Gas In My Car To Even Get To The Nearest Gas Station ..

Whipped Me With Clothes , Hit Me With Baskets , Pushed Me , Threw Trash From The Trash Can Into My Bag Of Clothes ...

When I Finally Was Walking Out The Door , He Told Me To Go Run To My Bestfriend & Be A Single Parent With Her (Since He Thinks That What She Wants 🙄) .. I Told Him He’ll Never See His Child When They’re Born , They Won’t Have His Last Name , And That I’m Through With Being Treated Like This .. Which Led To Me Being Shoved With Heavy Bags Already On Me , As He Says , “You’re Not Gonna Threaten Me About My Child” ... But Yet He Just Tried To Kill His Child Not Even 20 Minutes Before This .

I Called Him A Worthless Piece Of Shit As I Was Walking Out The Door , Which Caused Him To Follow Me To The Staircase (Police Across The Road As This Is Happening , Both Cops Staring At Us Because He’s Yelling) , He Rips My Trash Bag Full Of All Of My Things , Dumps Out All Of My Make Up , All Of My Soap , All Of Medicine , Everything .. He Grabbed Me By My Hair And Started Yelling At Me Through My Ear , The Police Still Not Doing Anything But Watching , I’m In Tears And My Makeup Is All Over My Face .. He Goes Back Inside And I Stay There On The Stairs , Trying To Grab Everything , Not Having Any Bags To Put All My Clothes In , But Managed To Get Them All In My Car , As I’m Still Pouring Waterfalls From My Eyes .

My Dad Ends Up Showing Up , Takes His Side , Doesn’t Believe When I Told Him All Of The Shit He Did And Said To Me In The Room Upstairs ! And My Own Dad Told Me That I’m Not Allowed To Come Home , Even After This , EVEN AFTER HE SEEN THE BRUISES AND THE BUSTED LIP !!

It’s Crazy How I Feel Like I’m In This Alone .. It’s Crazy How “Men” Act Nowadays .. But All I Can Say Is I’m Finally Done With The Mentally & Physically Abusive Man I Was With .

*Note To Any Female Who’s Dating A Man Who Never Stops Drinking ; Alcohol Is A Horrible Creation .. All It Does Is Destroy A Human Being & Turns Them Into A Monster .. If You’re With A Man Like This , Just Don’t Be Blind To His Actions & Words . There’s A Man In This World That Won’t Let Alcohol Ruin Himself , Or Even Yalls Building Bond ..