Ok, I want to explain this and please tell me if you think I’m right to feel this way, or if I’m being a giant baby about it.

Back story:

My mom, sister, and I used to be very close. My mom has always been abusive mentally, physically, and emotionally. We got passed it though and all loved each other’s. Some days just more than others. After I moved out 3 years ago, thing’s were good with my mom and sister. This year and last year though, not so much. My mom got worse with my sister and this year after turning 18, my sister had enough and moved out on her 18th birthday. Now, it’s always been obvious that my sister is my mothers favorite. They just got along better. Well, now they can’t even speak to each other because my mom picks a fight. My mom has severe mental issues and doesn’t see that the issue is her, instead she blames my sisters friend. Not gonna lie, my sister has changed, but everyone does with age. My sister doesn’t want to talk to my mom much or see her often for obvious reasons.

Well today I went to see my mom and I try to go as often as possible to see her. Every time I’m there she vents to me and cries about my sister and complains that her family is ruined and that she has no purpose now. She say’s that my sister and I don’t need her anymore. I get that she is hurt from us moving out and struggling with my sister, but what she say’s makes me feel so unwanted and like a piece of garbage. She always say’s thing’s like “without your sister I may as well be dead” or “I’m gonna move away since I have nothing left here”. Today she also was mad that my sister decided she wants to go to the local college instead of a better one out of town or state. She “doesn’t want my sister to be stuck here”, but when I tried to leave to go to a better college out of town she threw a fit and wanted me to stay and go to this one. It makes me feel like she feels my sister is better and deserves better than me and that she wants better for my sister. She talked me into staying here to go to this college to be close to her. I dropped out after a semester due to having 11 family/friend deaths in 1 year and she said she knew I wouldn’t finish college.

Please tell me that I’m not just being a big baby about this, my feelings are correct and valid right?