I’m a recovering anorexic and let me tell you it’s so hard every day , waking up hoping today will be better then the last , looking in the mirror and knowing today won’t be any better, having the thoughts constantly on your mind saying your not good enough and that nobody loves/cares about you... I’ve gained 30 pounds since last year , I am now 117 and I try to be strong I push back the thoughts as best as I can but every time I look in the mirror I never see me , I see this monster that lives in my head. And I know I’m healthier now but I miss the gap between my thighs , my color bones , my ribs, my hip bones, but your always cold and hurting,your heart feels not only emotionally but physically broken .I starved for 6 months last year and 3 the year before and have always had the thoughts, but I wanna be the strong woman my little sister needs to grow up and know how beautiful she is, I wanna be the strong woman my brother looks at an is proud of , I will be strong from now on ! I’m sorry for the long rambling post thank you to anyone who read it .