Do I love my baby?💙❓

Question

Sometimes I lay awake at night and worry that I don’t love my unborn child. I know he’s there. And I’m doing everything I need to help him grow and am preparing everything for his arrival. But I haven’t had that “feeling” I always see and hear everyone talk about. The “I love you so much already” or “you changed my life before you were even born”. I’m starting to really worry about me and my mental capacity for this now that I’m 30 weeks. He’s going to be here sooner than later and I just don’t feel mentally ready. 
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has this?! I mean this is what I wanted and I thought I would feel differently. Im afraid I’m heartless and won’t be excited and cry and feel an instant bond when he is born. Distance is a good way to describe it....HELP 🙇🏻‍♀️

Answer

My pregnancy so far has had some really difficult moments. The symptoms of pregnancy I’ve been dealing with have completely changed my lifestyle and I worry about not being able to keep up with my clients before I have to to stop working. 
Everyday I miss my workouts, my stamina, sleeping comfortably, all of my clothing and shoes, wine and so much more. I feel as if all the struggling makes me resentful at times. My child is so important to me but so is my wellbeing. I feel selfish to be thinking that way because many people I know would give anything for a healthy pregnancy.
I wonder if us having thoughts like these put us at higher risk for postpartum depression.

Answer

I am this way in all of my pregnancies. I don’t bond really until the baby is born and that’s totally ok.

Answer

I was never super attached or “in love” during pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong I prepared and made sure to have a healthy pregnancy and I would have been devastated if sometime bad would have happened but “the feeling” just wasn’t there. Honestly it took me a bit, even right after delivery I didn’t have this angel singing moment. We did the skin on skin for an hour and it was nice but about half way through I was practically falling asleep and I just wanted to be done. I never suffered from ppd. Don’t feel guilty. Be aware of symptoms for ppd just in case but you are definitely not alone in feeling that way

Answer

My husband and I don't talk to the baby ever like some of my friends do. It just feels really weird to me.

Answer

I am the same way. I didn’t connect with my other pregnancies either. My first born I had an extremely difficult delivery and don’t remember most of it, but I remember I didn’t feel connected to him until we were home and settled in together. After that my love and connection grew everyday. He’s 5 now and a total mama’s boy! Everyone is different. Don’t worry or feel bad.

Answer

I always feel like that through my pregnancies. I never spoke to my bump or anything. For me I think it was partially a defence mechanism (in case anything went wrong) and then also, as a FTM, I couldn't really picture myself having an actual baby...that I had grown myself...it was all too weird for me! This second pregnancy I still don't talk to the bump or try & visualise the baby, but it's a bit easier to picture having the baby here / being a mummy (again).

Answer

I guess I just assumed I would be like everyone else and immediately fall in love...with the sonogram, the heartbeat, the kicks...and that’s just not me. I guess my issues are pretty much what everyone is saying. Fear of something going wrong, becoming a mother, all of it. Having a tiny person depend on you for EVERYTHING is a freaking hard concept to grasp! I don’t want to make any wrong decisions but I’m sure I will along the way. That’s life 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can say these things and understand them, but it’s hard to actually believe them. 
Here’s to 10 more weeks of a healthy pregnancy ending in a healthy happy baby who will be loved.....by all! 💙😬

Answer

I didn't feel genuine love for my son until weeks after he was born 🤷🏾‍♀️I would say it because I would want it to be true but it just wasn't yet. I love him now more than any human, more than myself. I'd leave my husband, I'd leave my family, I'd leave my country for this kid.

Answer

I’m a first time mama to be... Pregnancy, for me, has been such a period of recognizing the changes that are going to happen to my current lifestyle and coming to terms with the fact that things will never be the same again.. and I think that’s a lot to cope with (on top of all the actual pregnancy symptoms & physical changes we’re dealing with).. so.. for me, anyway, I think I’m not super connected with the baby yet cause it takes time to see yourself in a new role and you don’t know really what your new life as a mama will be like yet.. and that can feel overwhelming sometimes and lead to conflicting emotions.

Answer

I feel the same way!! Everyone was telling me how pregnancy will change me, how I will cry when I hear the heartbeat, etc.. nope. Sometimes I really worry that I won’t bond with her and that there is something wrong with me. But then I think maybe all the emotions will hit me like a bus when she is finally here? You’re not alone!

Do I love my baby?💙❓

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