Taking misoprostol tomorrow...

10:30am I go into the doctor, to start misoprostol.... to start my miscarriage. I have never been more scared, or dreaded anything more in my entire life. Less than 2 weeks ago I was planning my future with my baby.... and now...

My husband is doing everything he can to try to help me through this. He came home with a bottle of my favorite wine yesterday. Told me its for whenever I am ready... But the thought of drinking it breaks my heart in two. I didnt plan on drinking again till next year... and now I can. Now I can indulge in all the things that seemed so hard to give up.... coffee, wine, lunch meat, my figure..... And I have no desire to enjoy any of it.

This isnt how its supposed to be.... this isnt supposed to happen. I really dont know how to move past this.... How to get back to normal. How to be me again. And I especially dont know how I will ever trust a pregnancy again... how I will ever trust my body to do it right.... and for this to not happen again...