why can't I settle him!!!

Ok I need some routine ideas!!.. my son has never bee a great sleeper but the last couple of months weve wind down time from 730pm he's had a bath at 8 then milk, pjs and gone to bed 830 and taken about 30 mins to settle then slept til like 3am had some water an gone back to sleep til 730 it's been great!!but now he's decided that 730 wind down, 8 bath, milk, pjs isn't enough anymore it's taken 2-3 hours to settle him (with mainly my tears and him wanting to play in his dark bedroom) and then waking up at 3 and just being restless an playing with my hair til he wakes at 9am!!??? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!???WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??? nap time still the same 1230-230 or 2-330..........any routine suggestions or do I just carry on and hope it gets better!!xx