My best friend just found out she’s pregnant. She’s not with the father, though he is a good friend of hers and prefers to keep the baby and wants to be involved. She is on the fence about whether or not she plans on keeping it or having an abortion.

I, myself, am very against abortion. I would not have one and i hate the idea of it. But i respect the fact that my best friend has the right to make this decision for herself. I also realize that no matter what she chooses, it is going to be hard and i want to be there for her. The first time i spoke with her about it, i said “you know what choice i would make because i already made it (i became pregnant at 17 and chose to keep the baby) but this isn’t about me, your circumstances are different, and i will support you and help you in any way i can, no matter what you choose”. She went on to say that she wanted to hear my real thoughts on it, but i found myself holding back a lot of what i really wanted to say. I was trying to avoid swaying her one way or another because this is her life, not mine.

A couple days have gone by and she has not made a decision but seems to be leaning more towards having the abortion. I feel saddened by it based on my own beliefs, but didn’t tell her that. Instead, I reassured her i would be there for her. But deep down, my conscience is bugging me and telling me i should tell her how i really feel, especially because she asked for my real feelings in the first place. I want to tell her about the development of her baby, tell her how much of an amazing mom she would make,how much support she has, and that if i could do it at 17, i know she can. She also was told by her doctor that her chances of conceiving are slim to none, and i worry that she might resent herself for making a decision to have an abortion if one day she is unable to conceive. I am so stuck between doing what she asked and letting her know how i really feel (and potentially make her feel guilty) or just remaining neutral and feeling guilty for not doing what she asked of me. I would actually love to hear from anyone who had to face this choice, or anyone who can give an opinion as to what i should do. Thanks!