What’s the deal?

Backstory: I’m 9 weeks pp. My stitches hadn’t healed by the 6 week pp visit and I was advised to wait 2 more weeks for sex. I went back in around 7 weeks due to terrible pain that would keep me up at night and she gave me silver nitrate. I was advised to wait 2 more weeks. Omg! I felt so bad that I couldn’t have sex with my husband. This was on top of feeling less attractive due to a stomach that’s still deflating, a few stretch marks, and overall less confidence since becoming a new mother. I used cream I was given and soaked in epsom salt multiple times a day in desperate attempt to get better.

Now, I did a terrible thing (a couple times) because of my low self confidence and looked at my husbands phone history. He has been looking at porn just about every day even though I do my best to make him happy often. He said he wouldn’t look at it anymore and did the next day!! Now I’ve gotten to a place where I can have sex with him comfortably. We did it once and it was great. I’ve been excited to try again since we’ve had sex maybe twice in the past 3 months. Last night he knew I had been thinking about it all day and made the comment (kind of jokingly) that we weren’t going to because he wanted to go straight to bed without taking a shower. He said he was joking but Idk if he was just feeling around to see if I was still interested or if he really didn’t want to. I’m so hurt that he’s been looking at these other women and not looking at or touching his own wife! & now that we can finally have sex he doesn’t want to!

Of course in my mind I feel like he hates the way I look and is put off by watching me give birth and breastfeed with my newly saggy boobs. But it could be my crazy pp hormones. I just don’t know if I should shrugg it off or be highly hurt and offended. I know that sometimes it’s ok to just not be interested but he never used to be like this. I’m just sad. What would yall do? Has this happened to anyone?