Am I horrible?

Sooooo, when I want to go places such as work related vacations (package producers for travel agency) we can take a PLUS 1. Usually coworkers take their husbands/gf etc I don’t like taking my fiancé and I don’t really want him going places like that with me & I don’t know why. This makes me feel like a horrible person & I don’t know why. Does it make me look horrible?