I graduated a month ago and I’m already over it. I don’t want to sound like a whining millennial, but I feel cheated by school, health care, taxes, etc. See, I work now at a job that has 0 room for growth, in the field I want to be in, yes. The problem is I started the last quarter of my senior year and they offered me a very low wage because I hadn’t obtained my degree. Kicker is I’m not even learning anything, I’m a department of 1, no health benefits, no PTO.

I recently interviewed at a job I really wanted. The pay was more than what my dad first made out of grad school, the commute was 15 minutes, 6 weeks Sick/ FMLA/ PTO, minimal paid travel to LA from where I am in Dallas. Amazing. Aced the phone interview. I show up to the in person interview and I am supposed to interview with 2 ppl. The second person has an emergency and must leave. I have my interview anyway with 1 person, and she says she wants to move forward, but she mentions I must meet with that second person first before she can make a decision, everyone I’ve meet with can discuss. This is fine, things happen, but every hour I’m not at my current job I’m losing money, and my reputation tanks too. I schedule to meet again. 3pm on Friday. Now this is where things get cringe.

I arrive on time, clean, beautiful hair, I smell nice, prepared, copies of my resume, the whole lot. As I’m introducing myself he explains that it’s Friday, it’s 3, and he lives an hour away so he’d like to get out of here. At this point I’m thinking “oh great, both of us are wasting our time! Perfect, glad I took a half day for THIS” mind you, he scheduled this 🙃. Then we sit, he asks me my first question and I answer completely, using all the jargon I’m familiar with, and he puts his pen down and says “Look, I can tell you’re smart, I just want to have a casual conversation, I don’t make the final decision, I just want to have a quick 10-15 minute chat.”

Ha. Hahaha. Sir. I’ve been in school for the past 17 years of my whole entire life, with only 1 goal. Become financially independent. I don’t know if you know but I’m a black, female, and aging. My worth to society and quickly plummeting, and I can’t even afford to have a break down at my current salary. I can’t even see a doctor, cause my job doesn’t offer insurance and also hates giving me time off. A job that would more than likely ask me if I had someone to cover my shift so that I could attend my own funeral. And I know right, I need to find another job. Well that’s why I’m here. I have the skills, the intellect, and the training to start right now. I’ve had internships, I’ve made the deans list various times, and I’m ready dammit. This is my future. I’d like to have a baby, and get sick and still be able to pay rent and keep my job. Getting a better job means I can start saving for retirement now. Get a house maybe. I mean after i get done paying off my debt that my parents are helping with. MY MOM WANTS TO GO TO HAWAII. And I’d like to take the burden off my folks. And you want to have a casual conversation because it’s Friday. Pshew. I didn’t vocalize this but I’m sure it was written all over my face. He then told me I was polished. Like YES DUDE I’m a robot, prepared to strap into this work-till-you-die-my-honeymoon-will-be-my-last-vacation machine! I’ve been waist deep in school my whole life. It is very likely that this is who I am now. And I’ve learned to talk in a way to make ppl not only listen to me, but value what I say. Black female, remember. I ask about the company, the facility I’ll be working in, what a normal day looks like, why is this position open, questions I ask now because my current job sucks so much. And he again tells me to relax! These are valid questions, this is an interview isn’t it?!

Well, he wraps up the interview and I ask “from here, what are the next steps?” and tells me he’ll be in touch, and he doesn’t make the final decision, and we both walk out to our cars together. This guy dashed outta there and was already on the highway before I could even pull out of the parking lot. My thing is this. If you don’t make the final decision why was it so necessary I meet with you? And if you don’t make the final decision shouldn’t you be emailing your boss? Let her know I’m smart, but stiff, and polished, and therefore not the right fit. Probably the most frustrating interview I’ve ever had. I should hear back this week, but because everyone else wanted to move forward and mentioned nothing about the future when I asked, I’m pretty sure I didn’t get it.

I’m welcome to advice, but I’m not looking. Just wanted to vent.