what to do?

dee • Show me a good time

my live in bf of 4 1/2yrs have been TTC for 1year but when we trying diff positions he never gives me oral but he sure asks whenever he feels like it(most times I say no, few times I say yes). I'm so in love with him. there's no person for me but I need my "service" too is it still cheating if I get a girl to do the job.