Feeling so distant from my friends


I know it’s my fault and I’m the one being distant, but I don’t feel like the same person anymore. I want friends but i just don’t feel connected to my best friends anymore. I’ll always care about them but I just don’t feel like they even understand me at this point.

I can’t even make myself talk to one of them without someone else included in the message. She was my best friend for so many years but now I won’t even text just her, I’ll only talk to her in a group message. I just feel like I’ve tried to reach out to her in some really hard times and didnt get much out of her when I’ve always been there for her in her worst times.

And the other I feel is just to immature and will never be able to get me. I can’t have an adult conversation with her because she is irrational and just doesn’t understand the simplest things.

I feel like such a bitch but at the same time I wanna take care of me snd stop putting their happiness before mine. I’ve always been the one to do whatever it is they wanted to do. And I’m had a hard year and i truly feel like s different person. And I feel like nobody cared to check on me even if I tried to reach out. My problems would just get brushed off.

I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. Idk what else this is getting at lol