I’m torn! What would you do?
I’m divorced, I have two sons with my ex and my youngest is graduating kindergarten.
My boys are with me 99.99999% of the time, only spending a day or so with their dad on the weekends... this past weekend he only took them for a few hours on Sunday.
He’s an addict and an alcoholic, he goes from being sober to falling off the wagon quite frequently. Recently he’s been on a downward spiral, worse than ever! He lost his job, was kicked out of his girlfriend (his new baby momma)’s house several times (their relationship is a very toxic one, my kids aren’t allowed there due to the nature of their hostile relationship), he’s been drinking to the point where he had to have an ambulance called to be taken to the hospital, and he hasn’t paid his child support at all since losing his job.
Anyway, my son’s kindergarten graduation is tomorrow. My oldest son, my boyfriend, and I are, of course, all going to the ceremony. My boys love my boyfriend to pieces, we all live together and he acts more like a father to them than their actual dad. I haven’t told my ex about the graduation because I’m scared about his possible behavior. At one of my oldest son’s baseball game, just a few weeks ago, my ex got mad at my boyfriend for giving my youngest a piggy back ride and he caused a huge, embarrassing, emotional scene in front of everyone which included almost punching through the passenger side window of my car. My poor boys were so scared. I filed a police report but because I waited until we got home and the window didn’t shatter, they said there was nothing they could do.
Despite all of this I feel bad for my ex. He’s in a tough spot right now... I’ve been feeling guilty about not telling him about the graduation tomorrow. It’s something I’ll never be able to take back. I don’t know what to do, do I just not tell him and when he finds out explain to him that because of his history of hostility I chose to not invite him, or do I tell him about it but also let him know that I will not hesitate to call the police if he even looks at us the wrong way?
I want to be able to enjoy this moment with my family without feeling on edge the whole time if he’s there, but I also don’t want to harbor any guilt about it for the rest of my life. He is the father of my sons and they do love their dad.
What would you do? Sorry for the novel!