So although I’m a Virgin I’m extremely horny for one. I masterbate quite a lot achieving at least 6-7 orgasms and I watch a lot of porn. I have had done sexual things in the past (oral) but I haven’t met with a guy in over a year bc I was kind of sick of meeting tinder dudes I had no feelings for. Ik I’m definitely not completely ready for a relationship right now but there is a guy whom I’ve been friends with for about 3 years now and I really do like him a lot. I would like to hope we can have something in the future but I’m just not ready for a relationship now I’m not really sure how he feels about me though. Last night I was so horny and drunk that I texted him “I want you to fuck me” 😂 and texted I was drunk right after to not make things weird embarrassing but funny he laughed about it and teased me. But I really do want him to fuck me and I’m so horny for him I hate being a Virgin I want him to fuck me so badly. He’s suppose to be taking me out to dinner for my birthday and I think I wanna try to make a move like I want him so bad😭 the only thing stopping me is my stupid anxiety I have all these thoughts running through my mind and just need an outside opinion.

I used to save my virginity for religious reasons but I’m not as religious anymore and I don’t really believe in that virginity pure stuff it’s kind of overrated imo. Ik I might catch even more feelings than I already have for this guy which isn’t gonna keep him with sex which is another thing I’m scared about but I also know it’s something I’ll eventually have to get over. Also I’m nervous about my “inexperience” and the pain and embarrassed about being a Virgin :/ Even though I’ve been super close to having sex and the guys said I was great I know that’s nothing compared to actual sex and I wonder if I could just compensate my lack of experience by just being super confident which I tend to be in bed due to my high sex drive. Also the last thing that has also been stopping me is that my friends keep telling me I should lose my virginity when I’m in a relationship but tbh Idk when I’ll be ready to be in a serious relationship until a few years down the road which I don’t think I can wait that long bc I’m so fucking frustrated and want to be fucked and no longer a Virgin 😭

what should I doooooo