My (long) story

My husband and I have been ttc for almost 5 years... after going through surgery due to a tumor, had my right ovary removed, I was then told that I had a tumor on my left ovary, it wasn’t as bad as the right so he left it. Well couple months down the road I started bleeding really really heavy, went to the hospital and was told that I no longer had a tumor.

4 long years later, on April 11th 2018 we found out that we are expecting our first child together! We were so excited!!!

Told my dad in the best way❤️We went for my first check up everything seemed fine.

I couldn’t get an ultrasound that day so they scheduled me for a week later to come in and I did they did the ultrasound and we saw our little bean❤️ it was the happiest I’d been in awhile! Then, the ultrasound technician(who was not nice about it) said 5 words that haunt me to this day... I don’t see a heartbeat, I was 6weeks1day we were told that it was normal google said it was normal. I set up an appointment for two weeks later during that two weeks I knew something was wrong, but kept telling myself everything was okay, two weeks come up and I go to the dr and a new ultrasound technician(who was definitely nicer) and confirmed our worst fears our bean was still measuring at 6weeks1day and no heartbeat. On May 8th 2018 my husband and I lost our child, late that night I went through back labor and contractions and even had to push(I know I was only a few weeks along but it happened I swear!) May 9th wasn’t that bad fast forward to May 16th my dr puts me on birth control(this is the first time in 5 years) I’m having my first period after the miscarriage and I don’t know if I should be happy because the BC is working on regulating me or cry because I’m supposed to be 13weeks1day today😭😭😭😭👼🏼