My step daughter in law can be a pain

So my husband is 25 years older than me and has a son a few years older than me. Well my step son is married and they have a beautiful daughter. I love my step daughter in law and I have always tried to make her feel welcomed and part of the family, but she has a major attitude problem. There have been times where I told her that my husband and I love her and all she had to say is "F*ck you" back to us. Well just recently she started hanging out with one of my best friends from high school and told her that she doesn't like me. Well my friend told me about it. I guess my step daughter in law is mad cuz about a week ago she asked if I could watch her daughter for about an hour or so. Well I talked to my husband about it just because that's what we do in our relationship. He said it wasn't a good idea cuz our dogs like to jump and he doesn't want them jumping up on her and scratching her. There are very few people who we let our dogs around their kids, like my sister's kids, just because it seems like now a days people are sue happy when it comes to pets and accidental scratches. Are we wrong for being concerned about this when she has mood swings like you wouldn't believe. One minute she's nice and then the next she's telling your best friend she doesn't like you. I know that when I had my miscarriage and I had told her about it she replied back with "Have you ever thought that God doesn't want you to have kids?" When she told me several months ago that she had one I thought about what she had told me but I replied back with "I'm sorry." I just don't know what to do about her. Thank you ladies for just letting me vent.