5 month marriage 😔😠

Well ladies,I am in the process of divorce,and I JUST got married 5 months ago! Its a long story,but you could imagine-we did things fast. We were together 2.5yrs total,engaged after 8 months,found out I was pregnant at 1.5yrs. So we have a now 10month old beautiful baby girl in this mess. Thats probably the hardest for me...I loved my husband,heck i still do. We had some tough battles against us the last few months,but we were ALMOST in the clear. We have a good relationship,we laughed every single day. He made me a better person,we had a crazy chemistry. Everyone who was around us could feel our love. I was 10000% he was my guy. He was kinda my dream guy to be honest. He treated me well. Its a reslly long story,but there was lots of drama with his babymomma. And I couldnt handle it. So us divorcing,is mostly fault. Which is why it hurts so bad-my choices did this. I lost my husband. And he assured me that he will never ever come back. No counselling,nada. Its been a month since hes been home. He is all moved out. Most things split up just waiting for divorce to be "final". Im thinking itll be a few months. I am sad,mad,depressed and embarrassed. Everybody asking "wheres your hubby" etc. Im so sick about it,i can barely eat. It reminds me of my bad high school love breakup,when you think the world is ending. I thought it was bad then...ha! Nothing compares to this pain. This was the best guy I was ever gonna get. I can only be mad at myself. Just needed to vent it out! thanks