Who else is over their MIL?

Question

Okay so back story here is that I was raised basically by wolves. 😂  My parents barely ever showed any sense of emotion or love, like saying I love you and hugs and stuff is weird in my family.... My husbands family is the total opposite. My MIL will not stop hugging and kissing my belly and she won’t stop talking about the baby. Now I get it... she means well and this first grandchild means the absolute WORLD to her... but I am just so over it already. She’s already said she NEEDS to get a call as soon as we head to the hospital but I want that time to be with me and my hubby. I hope she is able to respect our time. She knows she won’t be in the delivery room but I hope she realizes she won’t be coming and seeing the baby immediately. Anyone else just overwhelmed by their MIL? Leave your stories so I can relate! 🙄

Answer

I think you being bit wrong. Has your husband agreed for her not to come and see baby right away?? She isn’t just a friend and she isn’t asking to be in the room. All she wants to be in the hospital when baby arrives which I think she deserves to be since she has been treating you amazing based on your post. Nothing wrong with showing affection and love. Maybe that’s what exactly you need. Like you said your family hasn’t done that. On this app many women put posts about bad mil or annoying. But your sounds like an angel and you sound wrong. She should be in the hospital. You are wrong.

Answer

We didn’t tell anyone when I was in labor and it was the best decision ever. No unexpected visitors and my husband was 100% focused on me instead of feeing the need to update people. When we were settled in recovery and we’d had some time alone, then we called family. 
My mom wasn’t necessarily happy about this decision, but she got over it quickly. 
Your MIL sounds like my mom, super sweet and I love her but she can be a bit overwhelming especially when it comes to my pregnancies. I would suggest setting some boundaries that you and your husband agree on and stick to them.  If that means not calling her right away, that’s perfectly fine. In the meantime if she is too touchy feely, perhaps you or your husband and gently explain that while you are so happy for her support and excitement, you are not the touchy feely type and especially being pregnant and uncomfortable you would just prefer a little less physical contact. She can save her cuddles for when the baby isn’t inside you.

Answer

Yes definitely you need that alone time with hubby and baby. I wish I had not told anyone right away. I had an emergency c section so when I woke up from anesthesia a lot of people were there and I was just out of it due to the drugs. Anyways I wish I had that time to be alone with baby and hubby so I am planning to do that next baby. First 24 hours after baby is born just for us three.

Answer

I feel the same way, you just say what you want and let everyone else deal with it. It's your baby not anyone else's

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My MIL keeps calling with terrible names , telling me what to eat to have a genius.. it’s annoying. She was never like this when I was pregnant with our first two girls . I am kinda annoyed. I think because we found out early it’s probably a boy .. I’m a little possessive. I also have ce sections .. so I am super jealous of the idea of anyone holding him before me . Since I have to wait a hour in recovery. Maybe I’ll get over it . We shall see .

Answer

My mil is the same.  My family is loving, but more like I love you when we say goodbye, lets not talk again for two months 💁. My husbands family though is constant touching, talking, in contact, need to know everything.  My husband agreed, although reluctantly, that only grandparents can come to the hospital at all, only him and maybe my mom in the room during pushing, and just me and him for an hour of skin to skin bonding before grandparents can meet baby. I told him I'm not even telling his parents I'm in labor until I'm admitted and things are progressed enough that we know it won't be much longer.  I dont feel comfortable with them sharing updates on my labor (which they will) and the only way to stop them is to not let them know. If I try to talk to them about not sharing intimate details about the baby, our lives, whatever they agree then tell everyone anyways.  Thank goodness my husband is like my family and not his own and agreed about the privacy stuff.

Answer

Just count your blessings. We aren’t all that lucky to have nice, excited, and loving MILs.