Miscarriage chronicles

Hey everyone. Just wanted to come by here and tell you guys a little off what i been going threw i know that there might be someone out there going through the same thing. So i have had a total of three miscarriage and I still don’t understand how I live with myself and go threw my day like nothing. I work with kiddos so I think that helps a lot when it comes to dealing with the pain. Last night I bursted into tears when I husband wanted to have sex and I had realized that morning I was spotting. Now the problem was I was late on my period six days. I took two test and they cane negative, but in my mind I was hoping I was still early for it to be detected. Well, when he wanted to have sex the only thing passing threw my mind was why have sex if I’m not getting pregnant why wait for something that is not happening. Why can’t I have a baby????? Now, these are moments I have that bring me down. I soon realized that god made me a strong person and he knows that I had a lot to take in with three miscarriage. I know he doesn’t want me to suffer a fourth time and that its going to happen when he wants it too and that I am a strong woman and I am allowed to cry from time to time for not having a baby, for not having a little nugget in my new home running around screaming crying laughing. I am allowed to be sad and in glad I have the husband I have and support me threw all that I go threw because it is hard. Also if there is anyone that needs help going threw something like this I am here for you. Not to tell you I know how you feel because I don’t each person has a different feelings but for support. Thank you for reading. ❤️