My Anxiety and My Proposal

My anxiety is ruining my proposal. I got engaged on Saturday and the happiness lasted for about two minutes with my boyfriend and I started legit freaking out so many things were going through my mind I couldn’t make it stop. I thought it was normal we are both young we had always talked about kids after we got our house but we never went into detail about getting engaged. Yesterday we woke up and went to get my ring from it’s super secret hiding place (his sisters house). I put on the ring, but it still didn’t set in all the way yet! We came home and I sat down and thought about everything! I was happy but that wasn’t the feeling coming out! We went to my parents and they were happy and my boyfriends family was over the moon! I talked to my mans mom and she told me that she got engaged after only 3 months and that she couldn’t believe it for days. But I knew that wasn’t what was going on with me. We came home and I legit had a breakdown I was so upset I wanted to feel happy but all I could do was breakdown and cry! I had been overwhelmed after being alone and in charge for a week while my man was gone! But I didn’t realize how overwhelmed I was. My poor man stuck it out with me I hadn’t had a breakdown like this in a long time! I’m so tired and ready to feel super happy I just never imagined it would be like this. I am so hard on myself I want to be happy with my man. It ain’t fair that he is super happy on his own without being able to do it with me! I know I love my man and I know I want him and to be with him but I feel out of control! 😭😭😭