When will it be my turn...

I really thought this month it was gonna happen. I got that smiley face on my opk and we got busy. I cramped my entire 2 week wait and just knew I was gonna get my BFP. My period was a day late so I tested this AM negative. Then the next time I went to the bathroom there was AF. My best friends are both pregnant, and neither of them wanted anymore kids. I’m 30 so every time I log in FB or instagram there is a pregnancy announcement and I cry. I feel so selfish because I cannot be genuinely happy for anyone is pregnant because I want to be so bad. I’ve lost 125lbs in the past year in order to be my healthiest for a baby and this heart break I feel with every negative test is devastating. This past month I started taking Vitex and mucinex and we used preseed. I’ll be out of town during my fertile week in July without my husband so we try again in August and pray for BFP in September. ❤️❤️❤️