marriage and insurance??

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I suggest that you hold off on TTC for a while. Like you said, he wants your marriage to be a secret, and you’re good enough to be his childs mom, but not his wife, and he’s willing to marry you out of convenience for insurance but not because hes actually ready to marry you. If insurance wasnt a concern, how long would it be before he was ready for marriage? Rushing it doesn’t sound like a good idea  
 
It just sounds like a bad recipe that needs to be sorted out before you have a child with him

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I second PP to hold off TTC. Clearly you two aren’t on the same page...

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I think it seems like a reasonable solution. He wants to do the big wedding and celebration of love down the road. He probably wants to propose, do the wedding showers, bachelor/bachelorette experience, honeymoon etc. He is confident that is in your future or else he wouldn’t make the recommendation to get married. Right now it’s a functional step to ensuring you can have kids now and will be protected by health care. I chalk it up as honorable in my book! You need healthcare today not in 10-18 months like a typical wedding will take to plan.

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If that’s not how you want to be married, then don’t be secret married. That’s valid.

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Seems like you'd talk about these things before deciding to have a baby together also??? I was in a similar situation because I couldn't afford medical insurance with the job I had either, and we got pregnant. my opinion may not be popular but I see nothing wrong with getting married on paper for the insurance and later doing a big wedding like you want.

marriage and insurance??

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