Broke up

Umay

We had been dating for nine months. We both are 18years old. 2 months ago I.. I don’t know how to explain it or how it happens or I dont know.. i stopped having feelings for him. He is a very nice guy. I realised we weren’t compatible and im an asshole because it took me seven months to realise it. He texts me, calls me 24/7 whereas im busy i study alot and do a lot of other things and mostly because we don’t really talk about anything except saying I love you and I love you too.

I had been struggling for the past two months, i felt horrible because ik he loves me. I tried my best, did everything. Started talking all the time giving my 100% but I couldn’t. I don’t have feelings for him. I love him but not romantically.

I tried breaking up with him by telling him all this two weeks ago but he started crying and i felt so horrible that I didn’t do it. Day before yesterday when my patience died and I realised if I dont do it now it would just lead him on, I told him and broke up with him. He said he saw it coming.

But after that he has been constantly texting calling everywhere to give him a last chance, i told him it wasn’t his fault for which he’ll need a chance and that its me who is at fault.

He has been crying writing me huge paragraphs and i feel sooooo horrible I’ve been crying and I can’t forgive myself, i dont know what to do or how to explain it to him. I feel like the most horrible person. I didn’t know who to talk to so im writing it here, venting out. Had a boy done this to me, i would have been devastated and thats what makes this even worse i cant forgive myself its just im hating myself. How can i make things better for him, he is a lovely and genuine guy I dont know whats wrong with me but i want to do whatever i can