UPDATE 12/13/18: Holy shit balls. It’s been a HELL of a ride. Turns out while I was at the graduation he was with his ex-mistress celebrating Father’s Day! So he was acting distant for two reasons, to punish me for not behaving well, and to go with the ex-mistress he’s cheated on his ex-wife (and now me) for over a decade. I left him in August when I saw a video of him sitting next to the mistress and he’s pursued me ever since. He even bought a gun and said he’d use it on anyone that comes close to me - all BS of course.

Also, turns out the reason him and I started having fights in May was because he was talking to the mistress again, she told me it was just to talk, but I don’t believe it. Yes, I spoke with her. She seems to be use to being the “other woman” and is totally Okay with it so long as he comes back to her. He “left” her like twice when I would accept a conversation with him. It’s all so very toxic and chaotic.

My husband and I have been working on our relationship since September, but with this one still being so threatening I am concerned to move anything further or else he will do something to me or to my husband.

I’m tired. So tired. His relationships are all chaotic and crazy, and I ended in the same situation. None of my previous relationships have ever been this insane.

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My boyfriend is really upset with me because I gave my ex-husband a ride to our son’s (18 years old) high school graduation (ex-husband is the father.) I didn’t take my boyfriend with me because my other ex-husband was there as well since he helped raise my son for the last 8 years. So basically I was with two of my ex’s. Because of that reason I didn’t take my boyfriend with me, too many ex’s in the same building, lol. But now here we are 5 days later and he’s still angry. Says he doesn’t want to talk right now and that I put my ex’s before him. I told him that’s not the case, that I put my son first. Not the ex’s. My son ASKED me to help take his dad, I couldn’t say no to that! Tried speaking with him again in the evening but all I got is that my kids didn’t think about his feelings when they asked me to give their dad a ride. That I am a grown woman and made the choice even though he was completely against it and I knew it. That he’s thinking if he wants to continue the relationship.

Aside from this fight we’ve been having fights basically weekly. I’m asking him if he’s unhappy, he says no. If he wants to break up, he says no. I don’t know what to do!

To clarify: my ex-husband (son’s father) is completely broke so that’s why I had to take him. My son’s graduation was an hour and a half away.

The Uber would have been $250 round trip. I don’t have that kind of money to spend on an ex.

My ex called the night before the graduation to ask for a ride and my sister was suppose to give him a ride, but the day of the graduation she pulled and said she couldn’t. So that’s how I ended up giving him a ride.

Update: I went to see him last night (Friday night, we’ve been fighting since last Friday) and it was pretty awkward. I told him at 7:00PM I would be at his house at midnight before he headed to work, I’d bring him the coffee I promised last Friday. Unfortunately there aren’t any Starbucks in his area, so couldn’t take the coffee. He texted “Why” when I texted “I’m outside”. I said “Because I want to see you. All we’ve done is fight.” Then I texted “If you want me to go I’ll leave. That’s not a problem.” He didn’t text anything back. I followed up again about 4 minutes later “Should I go before you come out?” No response again. He finally comes out and walks towards the driver side of my car. I stay in my car. I tell him about the coffee dilema and he says that it’s a bad area so stores aren’t open until late. I say sorry I couldn’t bring you what I had promised and he said that wasn’t a problem. Then he just stares at me and I stare back. He then says “I’m late for work now” so I apologize and say “Ok go, I’ll go. Don’t be more late.” But he wouldn’t leave. Then we stare at each other again and I laugh because I don’t know what to do or say at that point. I say “I’ll go now. Don’t be late” and he stares again and I put my car in drive so he removes his hands from the window. I say “Be careful” and look down to his feet so I don’t run him over and he looks now pissed. He walks behind my car and towards his. I drive and then park next to him and ask him for a kiss. He gives it to me but he looks mad. I drive off and I texted him “Sorry for coming over. Didn’t mean to upset you.” He still hasn’t responded to my text.

UPDATE 2: I spoke to my family and they want me to end the relationship and stop wasting time and energy. They said he’s been picking fights since April and it seems like he has something he’s upset about he’s not voicing, or he’s not being truthful about something. In May when I moved closer to my family - and him - he began to have fights with me that mean he has limited contact with me during the time he needs to “cool off.” My mom says that was never the case before when I lived far, so in her eyes he’s not really upset about the car ride, he just found another excuse to be distant. I sent him a text message last night telling him I have no support from family to continue the relationship. He feels they’re all blaming him and not blaming me as well for where we are. I told him this morning that I can’t continue fighting. Said either we work it out today. Or it ends today. Either option at this point is fine with me.

UPDATE 3: He responded to my text saying my family is talking shit and now it’s going to be awkward. I was going to respond on text but decided not to because it would have been a LOOOOONG ass text. But turns out he was drinking heavily last night - he does that when he’s sad. I’ve told him he needs to work on that. He’s responsive so I think my ultimatum got him thinking. We are going to talk later and he said I would decide then if I want to end it.

UPDATE 4: It’s 9:00PM and he never called me. I told him it was clear we were done.

UPDATE 5: He texted an “I’m sorry” bitmoji. I’m not dragging this out longer. This ends today. We either make up properly. Or this relationship is over. Im done playing games.

UPDATE 6: Instead of letting this go. He’s now asking me if my ex’s and I took pictures as a family. 🤦🏼‍♀️

UPDATE 7: We are finally talking daily again, like we’ve always done. He’s now saying “I love you” and “I miss you.” But says he’s still pretty hurt from what happened. He admitted he’s jealous! He said “Whatever you want to call it. Jealous. Yeah, I’m fucking jealous. So what? I can’t be jealous? Why the fuck is MY WOMAN in a car with her fucking ex?!” Anywho, at least he’s telling me what he’s actually feeling and not just giving me the silent treatment. We have a date tomorrow Saturday (6/19). We are going to a restaurant and a sit down outside bar. Hopefully we can discuss boundaries and expectations there. And maybe get on the same page of where this relationship is going. One thing he said that concerns me is that he’s mad at my 18 year old. He said “I’m resentful right now. I feel like we are in this situation because he made you do something you didn’t want to do and something I was definitely not comfortable with. I get that he’s a kid and all, but he’s old enough to know you’re in a relationship and that wasn’t going to fly with me. You’re his mom and you’re always going to do what makes him happy. But he shouldn’t take advantage of that. So this is where I’m at. Resentful towards him. I’m not going to be rude or anything like that. That’s not how I am. But I will be distant.”

UPDATE 8: We decided to go to a Dodgers game instead - I’ve never gone to one. He wanted to do something with me I had never done before. At the game we spoke about our relationship. He said he wants us to work out. He wants us to be together. But that he would appreciate if I didn’t give my ex’s anymore rides, lol. He said he’s still pretty hurt and resentful towards my son. He said he feels my son was acting very selfish and didn’t think how it would have affected our relationship. We spent the night together and, well, you know, adult things happened. I missed him immensely and I honestly thought we were done. He said he thought he had lost me and it scares the crap out of him. I don’t anticipate giving my ex’s rides any time soon, lol. So hopefully in that front we are good. Knock on wood so far so good, hopefully we can go back to how we are together and not how it’s been for the last month and a half.

Yes