4th August 2018

My baby due date was suppose to be the 4th of August 2018. I was suppose to hold my little bundle of joy in my arms. Instead we had to have a d & c at 10 weeks after they couldn't find a heartbeat. I feel recently that I'm starting unravel again .. I think about what should have been.. I long for my baby back. it feels just as painful as it did in the first few days/weeks after. has anyone or does anyone else feel like this? any advice would be welcomed.