hi ladies !! this is my first time ever posting something on here, so please bear with me!

recently, an ex of mine has entered basic training for the army.

some background info- this ex of mine & me were together for almost four years, until last september. he moved away a month after we got together, so much of our relationship has been long distance. we always kept great communication i.e texting, snapping, calling almost every day. he always talked about going into the military, an it always make me so happy to see where he would go in life. we know everything about eachother, an are the closest friends you could ever imagine. further on things started getting shakey. i ended up finding out he cheated on me 3 times, an found one of the girls he was dating whilst dating me on facebook. i confronted him about it an we broke up an were friends for a good few months until he broke it off with the other girl. we were together till september.

it was the breaking point for our relationship; after him cheating on me three times, him ghosting me for weeks BUT coming back acting like everything was fine, he ended up stopping communication mid september. i blocked him on everything, an we didnt talk for months.

this ex of mine has caused me to develop anxiety due to the many issues we had - it WAS NOT all his fault, we did have issues that we couldnt work out. it was a falling out, i had issues i was dealing with, such as a death of a friend, starting therapy etc. he was very supportive the entire time, but it was very tiring for both of us.

months passed until back in march, he contacted me trying to apologize for what he did - the cheating, the ghosting, the anxiety he caused me, he apologized for it all. he understands that he did wrong, an he hates that he caused something like that. he KNOWS he did wrong an it does not sit well with him.

in october, during the time of us talking, i got accepted to my top college which was in his home state - it had NOTHING to do with him, i truly wanted to go to this school. i ended up moving recently an found out i was 20 minutes from his house, which is wild because we have always been long distant.

we have been talking on & off since march, mutually which he knows. he still shows feelings for me but he knows i am very reluctant an not easy to get through too anymore. before i moved, we made plans to meet 3 days before he was sent to basic training. come to find out, the day i moved was the day he was going to basic, they had called him in early. i gave him my address so he could write to me, and said our goodbyes. he said i love you, an i couldnt resist on saying it back, i didnt know when i would get to talk to him again.

its been about 6 days and i miss him like crazy. he finishes basic training in 10 weeks which is almost september. i miss him being available to talk and i miss him being around whenever. i miss being able to snapchat him or text him random pics or say jokes, but him not being around crushes me, it crushes me more than when he ghosted me.

my question is is it wrong to feel this way? i feel SO STUPID for missing him as much as i do. this has been his dream for years an ill always support it, its just sad he had to leave so early right when i move. i miss him so much an it just feels weird to not have him available to talk too.