What I found on my bf’s phone..

So I’ve posted on here about my preterm birth I experienced with my first child at 22 wks, and how devastating it was to us. My boyfriend and I have been off and on since 2016 just last year we finally “settled” & knew we wanted each other so we decided to try for a baby, Jan we found out we were pregnant. We moved in together right away and we continued to do our normal activities (gym, hanging with friends, etc) we never went thru each other’s phones, he never gave me a reason not to trust him, I always knew where he was Work, home, gym, then back home. Well 2 days ago (06/20) we got into an argument he was off work that day due to bad weather (he works with a few of his friends) so him & his friends decided to go to the gym and play some basketball early, he left and didn’t get home until 9pm, he left around 2:30pm!!! “Who tf plays that long??” I started the argument and pissed him off, we went to bed and of course I wanted to make up and apologize and he treated me like complete SHIT!! Shoved my arm off him and when I kept trying he even decided to sleep on the opposite side of the bed from me!! I was disappointed, & felt something wasn’t right, I never go through his phone I don’t even have the passcode, well he has 2 phones his old and new one his old phone was in our closet so I decided to try and unlock that one got it on the first try, it was his SSN as the pin & I couldn’t believe the shit I saw, from dating apps to old sex video of him having sex with..I promise you a gorilla body built female I swear my heart sunk I thought it was a man!!! I felt soooo disgusted, pics of women not even close to being half as decent as I am!!! I go back to the room and decided to try the same passcode on his new phone which he uses now and IT WORKED!!! Went thru his social media’s and Snapchat is where it all went down, from hitting up sooo many females while I was pregnant, and was still talking to females days after burying our daughter!!!! As most of us of who have Snapchat know about the “my eyes only” section, I go there same passcode was entered and my heart just shattered, he had videos of getting head from some chick in his car, and the video had “once a week ha” on it, and the dates were WHILE I WAS PREGNANT!!! While I worked my ass get home at 6pm everyday, relax a good 30 mins, then prepare our food, have it ready by 8:40ish EVERY. FUCKING. NIGHT for him when he got back from the gym doing all this while I was pregnant he was getting head “once a week” by some chick he still won’t tell me about. And he keeps saying his buddies have a group chat on Snapchat and they send videos and pics of girls they smash and he swears up & down that the video are old, before us and that he just uploaded from his camera roll to send it to his friends so he could “show off” to but I know how Snapchat works, the place, time, & date that video was taken will be on the top left corner!!! I’m sick to my stomach still, he cried and begged me to believe him that they’re old videos, and is telling me how he can’t lose me after losing our daughter, I love him with everything in me, I’ve never been in this situation, and I know what I saw I’m just so lost and with no one to go to without being judge so I decided to come here. Idk how to forgive him or if I can even forgive him, I can’t look at him the same, I can’t see his car without the thought of some chick giving him head in it, I loved pleasing him by giving him oral And I don’t think I can do it anymore without feeling gross and sick to my stomach and just now I tried to check his phone and he changed the passcode.. I just don’t know, what do you do when someone you love with all your heart, hurts you in the worst way possible?