Adoption?

I’m 24 weeks pregnant and I know it was a mistake getting pregnant. My boyfriend pushed me for an abortion at 7-15 weeks. After I became 18 weeks he let go of the idea and decided we needed to save for our future and in getting an apartment. I’m 19 and he’s 24.

Anyways, lately I’ve been feeling like I should’ve had the abortion. I mean, I didn’t want it at all and I made such a huge fuss.

I have $20 in my name and haven’t done anything to save at all. And believe me I’ve tried so hard. But he makes payments for his car and he doesn’t ever have money so that leaves me to support us and buy us food to eat.

We both have jobs but while I used to work full time, they cut my hours from 30 to 4 hours a week and he works full time and gets paid a lot but that goes to his car payments and loans.

He’s told me how do I expect to raise the baby if we can barely afford to eat.

I know right now our only two options is to give the baby up for adoption or manage to keep our baby somehow, knowing how difficult it’ll be.

I come from an abusive family, and once my grandfather finds out I’m pregnant, he’s going to kick me out of the house and I’ll have nowhere to live while I’m pregnant until I find an aprtment.

But that brings me to me saving money again. It’s so fucking hard saving money.

I can’t bare the thought of giving my baby boy away. I just can’t. I’ve become so depressed and I don’t know what to do.

I have no support at all.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve suddenly become suicidal as well.

I don’t know what to do anymore.