Everyone seems to have issues with their mother in law and I’m the opposite she soooo wonderful my problem is my own mother! How do I go about it she cries and thinks “everyone judging her” when we put down any rules... my oldest brother has a daughter who 3 months and an 8 year old stepdaughter... she use get the 8 year old spend the night every weekend! Then they decided to take that away because she and my older brother (not dad) were smoking in front of her and had the 8 year old lying because “what happens at grandmas stays at grandmas” And the 3 month old isn’t allowed in the house at all because it smells like weed 24/7 and is always dirty... well I’m due next month and I get the guilt trip “don’t be like them and keep my grandson away” “don’t tell me I have to wash my hands” “when you go back to work I’m watching him” I’m sorry but no she not allowed to watch him, she can see him whenever as long as I’m there but she doesn’t like my rules and these rules are for everyone my family and his plus We plan on following these rules ourselves 1. No smoking weed/cigarettes around my child (if you can’t go a couple of hours without smoking then obviously he not that important too you) 2. No kissing the baby at all 3 wash your hands! I feel like my rules aren’t bad my brother and sister in law has 100+ rules some are exaggerated Highly but I respect their rules because it’s their child! My problem is I know she doesn’t respect their rules (unless they are around) so I know she not going to respect mine but as I said in the beginning she makes me feel horrible because she cry’s that “she never going to get to see her grandchildren and we are judging her” Not going to lie I smoke weed but of course stopped when I found out I was pregnant and don’t plan on starting after he born because I wanna breastfeed... but I MIGHT eventually go back to smoking after that but I plan on following these rules myself... so am I really being unfair or judging her?